I thought caring for babies would be intuitive. Turns out, it’s more like assembling IKEA furniture—with Hungarian subtitles and a baby watching you judge yourself.
I did eventually get it—it just took a 4,400-mile flight and learning that what we call “baby talk” is usually just adult panic in a higher pitch.
Welcome to the Pikler House in Budapest—where even the changing table has a sense of dignity, and where I learned three small moves that somehow do something cosmic for babies: they help them feel safe, respected, and like they’re more than just a warm decorative pillow.
We’re talking about how you pick up a baby, change a baby, and feed a baby. But here’s the twist: you’re not being a robot (that’s so 90’s)—you’re building a relationship.
At Pikler, every interaction says, “I see you, small human.” Not in a mystical, woodland creature way. In a concrete, practical way.
- You make eye contact before your hands do anything.
- You speak slowly, like you’re talking to someone whose opinion matters.
- You leave space for them to respond, because babies are not houseplants.
(Though some do thrive with classical music and a good misting.)
- You move gently, which—pro tip—also helps you avoid mid-diaper change kicks.
And yes, you tell them what you’re about to do before you do it. It’s like narrating a cooking show, except the ingredients are their limbs and the goal is making them as much a part of it as the gravy is to the potatoes.
And you repeat these routines the same way, every time, so they can start to know the world is predictable—and that they’re not just being flung around by a very tall, chaotic being.
It’s ordinary. It’s revolutionary. It’s dignified.
And best of all—no Allen wrench required.
