Your child won’t sleep. The caregiver and parent can’t agree. Now what?

If you’ve ever paced the floor with a wide-awake toddler at 2 a.m. or felt stuck between different opinions on how to care for a child, you’re not alone.

One parent wrote in, desperate for sleep help:

“I have a 1-year-old girl. Sometimes she can’t sleep at night. She just wants to play. How could I help her?”

A caregiver asked:

“How do we help children when parents are not on the same page?”

At first glance, these seem like two totally different problems. But here’s the surprising truth: There’s one common answer to both. And it’s not a magical fix, a one-size-fits-all method, or an expert-approved formula.

The answer? Look to the child.

The Parenting Trap: Searching for “The Right Way”

Every parent and caregiver wants a solution, preferably one that works immediately and forever (if only!). When it comes to sleep, for example, you’ll find conflicting advice everywhere:

• Cry it out – Let them self-soothe.
• No tears approach – Comfort every wake-up.
• Co-sleeping – Keep them close for security.
• Scheduled awakenings – Gently rouse them before they wake up on their own.

Each of these has strong advocates who swear their way is the best. But here’s the thing: What works for one child may not work for another.

That’s because sleep struggles don’t come from just one thing. They come from:

• Inconsistent routines.
• Too much stimulation before bed.
• Developmental leaps.
• Accidental reinforcement of wake-ups (hello, 2 a.m. playtime!).

So what does work?

• Predictable daily rhythms (naps, meals, and bedtime).
• Keeping nights low-energy (dim lights, soft voices, no games).
• Patience—because sleep is a journey, not a battle to win.

But What About When Parents and Caregivers Disagree?

Now let’s talk about the second question: What do we do when parents and caregivers aren’t on the same page?

Just like sleep, there’s no single “right” way to care for a child. A caregiver might emphasize structure, while a parent prefers flexibility. A caregiver might follow a child-led approach, while the parent believes in firmer guidance.

These differences don’t have to turn into a power struggle. The key? Stop focusing on who’s “right” and start focusing on the child.

Instead of debating methods, ask:

• What does this child respond to best?
• What makes them feel secure?
• How can we work together to meet their needs?

Parenting and caregiving aren’t about choosing sides—they’re about collaborating to support the child.

Hi, I’m Ms Emmy.

With over 30 years in early childhood education, I’ve seen firsthand how different children, families, and caregivers navigate these challenges. The one thing I know for sure? There is no one-size-fits-all answer. Every child is unique, and the best approach is always the one that works for them.

The Bottom Line: Parenting is a Journey, Not a Formula

Whether it’s a toddler who won’t sleep or a disagreement between caregivers and parents, the truth remains: There is no single, perfect answer.

There’s only the child, the situation, and the willingness to learn together.

So if you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or just plain exhausted—breathe. You’re not failing. You’re figuring it out, just like the rest of us. And that’s exactly how it’s supposed to be.

Got more questions? I’m always here to help. Let’s navigate this journey together.